The journey to overcoming Selective Mutism is a meandering path of many tiny gradual steps don't let obstacles along the way dishearten you too much or knock you off track from the direction your headed. Always just keep the next destination in mind and celebrate every little step along the way no matter how small a win or what the pace. If I could turn back time, this is the advice I would give myself seven years ago as the parent of a three year old with Selective Mutism.
O is ten and I couldn't be prouder of how far he has come and how hard he has worked to get to where he is today. He has gone from not speaking to anyone outside of the immediate family from saying as a young child, "I'm never going to talk" to now talking to his cousins, his friends, his teachers, other school staff. He runs errands to other teachers in the school and the office, he gives messages to other classes, he answers his swim teacher every week when he asks his name, he orders food in shops and restaurants, answers his Uncle and Aunt, participates in verbal board games in a group of extended family, he plays online games with children, he reads out loud in class, says thank you when given something, answers roll on camps with new people and talks comfortably to me in front of pretty much everyone. He is happy he is determined and he is proud of himself.
Does he still have challenges ? Yes. Has he more steps to take ? Yes. He would love more than anything to be able to talk to his grandparents. He has spoken in front of them but not directly to them or initiating conversation with them is not yet quite within his grasp yet but I am sure it will be some day.
O adores his grandparents and with Christmas and family gatherings approaching who knows what opportunities this year will bring given how well he has been doing but the important thing is he knows there is no pressure from them or his parents or his family or anyone for him to talk to them. There are no expectations and if he does speak to them there will be no big fuss made.
Having a really great triangle of support and communication has really helped. Great communication and synergy between his school SEN, SLT and parents. A good relationship between us with all of us having mutual goals and hopes and understanding O.
O is so lucky to have had a truly amazing SEN teacher and equally amazing SLT supporting him all the way, encouraging facilitating, brainstorming how to help him take one more step, and above all caring and joining in our joy in celebrating every little achievement he makes. I am so grateful to them both for this.
Let's not forget O himself, I may be a little biased but what incredible achievements he has made, he has shown strength, determination, bravery and resilience and I couldn't be more proud of him,
“Behind every smile is a story"
Keep Smiling !
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